Some of my friends are going to hate this post because I have again done what they chide me for - connecting 'everything' with economy :)
Today morning, I came across a matrimonial ad in Times of India (actually a friend sent it to all of her mallu friends including me saying that there is a gold mine on offer). The 9cm x 9cm all India ad on the third page of TOI main edition asked for "extra brilliant, highly qualified, well cultured groom for a highly educated mallu girl" and must have cost the "rich, international businessman" father (apparently ad gave this detail also :)) around 8 - 9 lacs to run it. The ad marks the beginning of a complicated operation called Arranged marriage. Next the "rich father" will have to set up an office to study and shortlist hordes of applicants who will send their resumes complete with Photoshop edited photographs. By the time the "rich father" comes out with a shortlist of entries who will be lucky enough to meet his daughter, he would have spent around 15 lacs. Add to it, the expense of marriage ceremony, reception and ofcourse gold, the father (who is not that rich anymore) would have spend a lot of effort, money and time on the operation.
Seeing the amount of money deployed and people employed, the practice called arranged marriages, which is now largely confined to the subcontinent and SE Asia is a heavy boost to our economy. If I take the case of South India especially, where dowry is masqueraded as gold and other gifts, the marriage triggers a heavy purchase of gold, silk and property. This happens irrespective of the price of the products. So one can see that gold at Rs 31000 is still in demand in southern state of Kerala and its no surprise that Malabar Gold, the gold largest player in Kerala is also World's third largest jewelers in terms of volume.
Let us now look at pre-nupital market, it starts with a search. With so many constraints like religion, region, caste, sub-caste, family background, education, profession, behavior and horoscope, the search mechanism for the right groom/bride is an industry in itself. The industry, run traditionally run by small time local brokers and high society match-makers is one of the latest to move online and have been segmented and specialized so much that there are companies which run separate websites for various sub-castes. The websites offer young men and women opportunity to do "blessed dating", a dating process which has the blessing of their families and society as the girl/boy satisfies most of the constraints put forward by them. These websites also has helped in removing "3 minute decision making", a phenomenon inherent to arranged marriage. A few years ago, I accompanied a friend when he went to meet a girl his parents have short listed for him. The meeting happened at the girl's home and the boy was given the girl's resume earlier itself. After the families spoke and liked each other (as our tradition goes, first the families like each other and then the bride and groom), my friend was allowed to speak to the girl. He was with her for approximately 3 minutes and the minute he came out, his parents asked him "Did you like the girl? Can we promise them?" To my surprise, my friend said yes and they were happily married in a month. Years later, I saw Deutsche Bank interviewing their candidates for 3 hours before giving them an offer. While DB took 3 hours to decide on a person who may stay with them for 2 or 3 years, a decision for life time was made in 3 minutes. This is a practice which is integral to arranged marriage. Intuitively, this may sound weird but most arranged marriages last for life time bearing testimony for the success of blitzkrieg decision making. I feel its because after the decision is made, the groom and bride accepts that there is no way back, a feeling that allows them to compromise and live on. The arrangement would have worked so far but with the new generation repealing the idea of compromise in anything, the system may find it doomsday soon. I remember a friend telling me that a guy whose proposal came to her home wanted a dating period of 3 months before deciding to go for her or not, a idea which horrified her parents :) So the new age matrimonial websites innovated and found a solution for the problem by functioning as quasi dating websites for people belonging to same community and within all the constraints their society asks for.
Another group of people who sustain themselves on marriage economy are private detectives. With extreme mobility and too much of money at too early an age, the new age youth is living a western way of life. It becomes important for the parents to check out if the bride's/groom's behavior conforms to the traditional ethos they follow. Hence the Sherlock Holmes and Watsons of this world profile the targets and certify their behavior.
If more and more young people start finding their partners on their own, a large number of organisations will be adversely affected sending tremors through the marriage economy. So before you propose your girl friend, think about the damage you are gonna make :)
Today morning, I came across a matrimonial ad in Times of India (actually a friend sent it to all of her mallu friends including me saying that there is a gold mine on offer). The 9cm x 9cm all India ad on the third page of TOI main edition asked for "extra brilliant, highly qualified, well cultured groom for a highly educated mallu girl" and must have cost the "rich, international businessman" father (apparently ad gave this detail also :)) around 8 - 9 lacs to run it. The ad marks the beginning of a complicated operation called Arranged marriage. Next the "rich father" will have to set up an office to study and shortlist hordes of applicants who will send their resumes complete with Photoshop edited photographs. By the time the "rich father" comes out with a shortlist of entries who will be lucky enough to meet his daughter, he would have spent around 15 lacs. Add to it, the expense of marriage ceremony, reception and ofcourse gold, the father (who is not that rich anymore) would have spend a lot of effort, money and time on the operation.
Seeing the amount of money deployed and people employed, the practice called arranged marriages, which is now largely confined to the subcontinent and SE Asia is a heavy boost to our economy. If I take the case of South India especially, where dowry is masqueraded as gold and other gifts, the marriage triggers a heavy purchase of gold, silk and property. This happens irrespective of the price of the products. So one can see that gold at Rs 31000 is still in demand in southern state of Kerala and its no surprise that Malabar Gold, the gold largest player in Kerala is also World's third largest jewelers in terms of volume.
Let us now look at pre-nupital market, it starts with a search. With so many constraints like religion, region, caste, sub-caste, family background, education, profession, behavior and horoscope, the search mechanism for the right groom/bride is an industry in itself. The industry, run traditionally run by small time local brokers and high society match-makers is one of the latest to move online and have been segmented and specialized so much that there are companies which run separate websites for various sub-castes. The websites offer young men and women opportunity to do "blessed dating", a dating process which has the blessing of their families and society as the girl/boy satisfies most of the constraints put forward by them. These websites also has helped in removing "3 minute decision making", a phenomenon inherent to arranged marriage. A few years ago, I accompanied a friend when he went to meet a girl his parents have short listed for him. The meeting happened at the girl's home and the boy was given the girl's resume earlier itself. After the families spoke and liked each other (as our tradition goes, first the families like each other and then the bride and groom), my friend was allowed to speak to the girl. He was with her for approximately 3 minutes and the minute he came out, his parents asked him "Did you like the girl? Can we promise them?" To my surprise, my friend said yes and they were happily married in a month. Years later, I saw Deutsche Bank interviewing their candidates for 3 hours before giving them an offer. While DB took 3 hours to decide on a person who may stay with them for 2 or 3 years, a decision for life time was made in 3 minutes. This is a practice which is integral to arranged marriage. Intuitively, this may sound weird but most arranged marriages last for life time bearing testimony for the success of blitzkrieg decision making. I feel its because after the decision is made, the groom and bride accepts that there is no way back, a feeling that allows them to compromise and live on. The arrangement would have worked so far but with the new generation repealing the idea of compromise in anything, the system may find it doomsday soon. I remember a friend telling me that a guy whose proposal came to her home wanted a dating period of 3 months before deciding to go for her or not, a idea which horrified her parents :) So the new age matrimonial websites innovated and found a solution for the problem by functioning as quasi dating websites for people belonging to same community and within all the constraints their society asks for.
Another group of people who sustain themselves on marriage economy are private detectives. With extreme mobility and too much of money at too early an age, the new age youth is living a western way of life. It becomes important for the parents to check out if the bride's/groom's behavior conforms to the traditional ethos they follow. Hence the Sherlock Holmes and Watsons of this world profile the targets and certify their behavior.
If more and more young people start finding their partners on their own, a large number of organisations will be adversely affected sending tremors through the marriage economy. So before you propose your girl friend, think about the damage you are gonna make :)
